Filed under: family life, my faith journey | Tags: christianity, God, John 4, spirit, worship
It’s a brand new week and I am really excited about it. I just feel like there is something big on the horizon… both personally and corporately for the church fellowship I am apart of. There are times when you can just sense that God is on the move. This is one of those times, and so I just want to make sure that I am in the right place to get totally caught up in it.
Jesus said in John 4, “Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.” What does that look like for you? What does it mean to you to be one who worships in spirit and in truth? Let me know your thoughts.
Filed under: family life, my faith journey | Tags: children, christianity, death, faith, life, parenting
We have been going through an interesting “phase” with our 5 year old lately. She is totally consumed with fear. Some of it is funny like when she was playing with her little brother and he cracked his knuckles and her eyes filled with tears as she was just CERTAIN that his fingers were going to fall off. We are happy to report that brother still has all 5 digits on both hands, by the way.
But then there are other manifestations that break my heart. Just this morning, she had mom “check her heart” two different times just to make sure it was still beating. The rest of the morning was filled with questions about little kids dying, why hospitals are scary and our impending mortality. Ok, she never said, “impending mortality”, she’s only five. But that was certainly the spirit of the conversation. All I know is that my 5 year old is totally consumed with a fear of dying. And it breaks my heart because there are times when, in my estimation, she misses life.
As i have spent the morning processing, and I am afraid that I have to confess that perhaps her struggle is a lesson in just how near the tree apples really do fall. I wouldn’t say that I am afraid of death in the same sense that she is. In fact, to be honest, I think of it very little. But I think I am so afraid that something I do or say will lead to or expose some sort of inner, spiritual deadness and so I work and work not live, but simply to avoid death.
And so I miss living.
Habakkuk 1:5 tells us, “Look at the nations and watch— and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told.” If God were to do something amazing in this age (and, for the record, I believe He is), would I even notice it? Or am I too caught up in avoiding my own spiritual death that I miss the move of the One who is bringing life?
This morning I have realized that the best way I can help my beautiful little 5 year old is to let her see her father cast off all fear of death, spiritual or otherwise, and embrace this moment with all I’ve got; to let her see her dad avail himself fully to what his heavenly Dad is doing in this moment; to show her that while the truth of scripture demands that “the wages of sin is death”, the beauty of the heart of our Father counters with, “but the fee gift of God is eternal life.”
And even a scary hospital can’t stop that.
Enough is enough. I have come up with excuse after excuse for being lazy and tired and letting my passion slip away moment by moment. I’m done with that. I get to choose how I will respond to life, and guess what life? I’m done letting you kick my behind.
I know that it has been so long since I blogged that no one really reads this anymore, but no matter. If to one other than myself I make a declaration that from this moment on, there are changes coming. Time to smile more, laugh more, accept more, criticize less, pray more, read more, focus more, take time for the “small stuff” more, love more, gossip less, give more, take less, worship harder (even when I don’t feel like it), make a difference more, write more, think more, expect less, desire more…
Life is always full of things to use as excuses, but at the end of the day, the only thing to blame is my own self. So, let’s get back in the game. Life is too short, and I want to live it for all it’s worth.
Heavenly Father, thank you for your patience with me, and I confess to you that I have settled for less… less than your best for me, less than you created me for… less. Today, I desire more… more of you, more joy, more purpose… more. Thank you that you are always willing to be found when I seek you with all of my heart (jer 29:13). Forgive me for the times when I have barely sought you at all. May today be the beginning of something amazing. I give it all to you. You rock.
Filed under: family life, my faith journey, randomness and miscellany | Tags: chili, christianity, cold weather, faith, family, God, love
It’s cold here tonight. Well, at least South Texas Cold. i was excited, because that meant chili night. Chili night is not something taken lightly in the Powers family. Think more, rite of passage, primal man thing. Growing up, some of my fondest memories are of my dad wearing a flannel shirt and cooking chili and corn bread in his gigantic harvest gold pot as we sat around and talked and hung out by the fire… I love those memories.
Fast forward 25 years or so, and I find myself pleasurably on the other side of the chili pot so to speak. Tonight, I felt like a dad. i know that sounds silly seeing as how I am a dad, but this was one of those moments where I found myself being like my old man, and I loved it. I saw my wife and two kids sitting by the fire and laughing as I sat in the kitchen with my pot (sorry, dad… I’ve passed on harvest gold and settled instead on a sleeker stainless steel model) making a pot of red, and loving every second of this pretty sweet life I’ve got. And I hope that someday Carson will remember tonight as fondly as I remember those nights with my dad, and then I hope it will spur him on to continue the tradition with his little ones. LIke I said, it’s a big deal in the Powers family.
But this all got me to wondering… what are the moments when the Father looks down on us, smiles, and says, “tonight I feel like a dad!”? What things will he someday tell us of with a fondness in His eyes?
And maybe more importantly, what are they so I can be sure to pass them on to my little guy and gal? Family is a big deal to the Almighty.
No answers, but the tought made me smile, so I thought I would share it. Life’s short… love your family.
Filed under: family life, my faith journey, youth ministry | Tags: busyness, christianity, faith, life lessons
Seven years ago I began my journey into youth ministry by teaching a 5th grade class. Eventually, my volunteer role morphed into my life’s calling and full time vocation. The first several months left me working a full time job that i didn’t really like, pouring into a full time ministry that I was passionate about, and planning a wedding to the woman of my dreams. It was insane, but I convince myself it was just a “busy season”. Seven years, 1 wedding, 2 children, countless camps and retreats and events and football games later, I find that season never ended.
Busyness isn’t unique to ministry, we are all busy, all the time. I have found that even in full time, vocational church work (I often tell my students that I am a professional Christian) my personal spiritual development takes a back seat to the tasks at hand. The problem is that there is always a task at hand. Lately I have been thinking alot about what to make of all this. If busyness is the norm (we could debate whether that should or shouldn’t be the case, but that’s not for here or now) than how do i find Christ in the midst of the norm? Today, I write not as one winning, but rather as one losing but who desperately wants to find a better way. To that end, I offer a couple of suggestions for finding faith in the frantic…
1. Make the most of moments that aren’t crazy
There are moments of calm even in the craziest of days… turn the radio off in the car, take the long way to the copier, heck, put the magazine down in the bathroom and instead talk to Him. Don’t worry about the way it sounds, just tell Him what’s going on in your day. Vent, confess, listen… connect. A couple of minutes won’t kill you or set you behind. Be willing to let your mind slow down and focus only on Him, even if just for a couple of minutes at a time. I promise, it will change the way you look at the world around you.
2. Realize who God really is, and who really isn’t God
Start each day reminding yourself that you aren’t God, and He is. There is nothing you face today that God can help walk you through. he created you, your boss, the person who invented the industry you are employed in… In Colossians 1 we are told that in him everything is help together and finds it’s purpose. I laugh at myself when I say I am too busy to stop and pray… isn’t it at those times i should stop the most? Martin Luther once said, “My life is too busy not to spend the first three hours of it in prayer.”
Show off.
But seriously… you aren’t God. I’m not either. We can’t make it perfect in our own strength. Sure, we could finish the task, but at what cost? What we can do is connect to the one who is perfect. And more than completing the task, we will find ourselves feeling more completed. We were designed to be dependant… not on pay checks or approval, but on Him.
Again, I ain’t there yet, but I want to be. Next month will be busier than this month, and then, well… let’s just say it looks like this season is going to be a long one. If I can’t change the pace, I can at least change who I follow. Here’s hoping.
Filed under: family life, my faith journey, randomness and miscellany, Uncategorized | Tags: blah, brother, david crowder, grace, marriage, tractor
I’m having a melancholy day. Now real reason, just sort feel down a little bit. Things are going pretty well, I just feel… well, blah I guess would be the word for it.
I am disatisfied with my spiritual place right now. I feel lazy. I don’t feel far from God. This is different. Like, I know he’s in the room, but I’m too apathetic to get up and talk to Him. Does that make sense? How do you fight that? I would be happy to take any suggestions. The funny thing is I could probably teach on it, but I am having trouble taking what I know and transforming it into what I live. David Crowder says, “I’m so bored of little gods while standing on the edge of something large.” I think that sums it up nicely.
You know what is convicting? I will wake up early to go play golf, a game I suck at… a game which hates me and makes fun of me and makes me question my manhood. I’ll wake up before dawn, pound some coffee, and hit the links and never even think twice. But wake up early for a consistent quiet time? Where’s the snooze bar? It’s not that i don’t have time with God, but I have to ask is this what He intended our relationship to be. I think that if i gave my wife the same amount of time I did my Savior, my marriage would fail. Guess I take grace for granted.
Maybe that’s it. I heard my brother once talk about the difference between cheap grace and costly grace. He quoted a really smart sounding guy named Dietrich Bonhoeffer and I was moved and challenged, but if I’m honest, cheap grace is easier.
A couple of weeks ago I went with my Mother-in-law to buy Carson a toy for doing such a good job being ring bear at aunt wowies wedding. (that’s ring bearer at aunt valerie’s wedding for those of you who don’t speak two year old). Anyway, we went to Dollar General to look for a prize, and Carson found the $2 tractor everyboy dreams of. It wasn’t fisher price, or even close to one of the expensive models, but it was a tractor. And he loved playing with it for the 7 minutes lasted. Cheap tractors are more accesible, but they break.
And that’s what I’m feeling about grace. I always feel like it is broken… like it won’t work for me or isn’t enough. Cheap grace is easy to come by, like a get out of jail free card in Monopoly, but, as I am learning, it often breaks. Costly grace, on the other hand, grace that came at a great price and asks more of the reciever (it’s not an in case of emergency, it demands a way of life) lasts. It’s forever… it’s a legacy.
When we were in Iowa, my father-in-law showed carson a tractor of his from when he was a kid. Carson was fascinated… he loved it. No doubt Steve’s tractor cost more than Dollar General imitation, but it remains as a tractor loving legacy that now impacts generations.
As it is with grace. Costly grace changes you… it leaves it’s mark and affects the way you view and relate to your whole world, but from my seat, it’s worth it if lasts, if it refuses to break. That’s the grace God wants us to wash ourselves in… grace that is forever. There is much that stands between me and it, namely self because this type of grace will demand I lay down my life and my wants and my desires, but it also promises to replace them with new ones… ones that fulfill.
So, as for the blah’s, they are still hanging around, but hopefully not for long. I want to find ways to press in… ways beyond a quiet time and a token prayer at dinner. It seems like a lot of work. Hard work. Painful work. But as I type, I realize that cheap grace isn’t any less work. The cheap grace I settle for demands that I work to fix it, a work I’ll never be able to complete. Costly grace simply suggests I work to enjoy it.
Filed under: family life, my faith journey, randomness and miscellany | Tags: Dallas Cowboys, pancakes, weddings
I have actually missed blogging. I was in a part of the world that I didn’t even know still existed… a place where the internet has not yet found it’s way. I have to be honest, it was refreshing. But I’m glad to be back.
I got do something really cool this weekend… I got to perform the wedding ceremony for my sister-in-law (who is like the little sister I’ve never had) and her new husband. It was awesome. it was hard to look at Val and not see the pancake eating 15 year old I first met, but there she was, exchanging vows and starting the next chapter of her life. It was surreal and cool all at the same time. My head is swimming with reflection and insight, but none of it is organized enough to drop down here on the blog. I’ll get it down as soon as it makes sense in my own head.
In other news, how ’bout them Cowboys? It’s nice to be a fan of a team who can play like GARBAGE and wtill win convincingly. Time to pray against injury. Oh, and while I’m at it, Jerry Jones, will you please wuit having plastic surgery? You are scaring my kids.
And speaking of scaring my kids, found this little video nugget on another blog and I thought I would share it. These guys also thought that church can still be cool, unfortunately, they can not be, and therein lies the problem…
I’m three gigantic cups of coffee into my day, and I can barely see straight. I am giddy. Poor Billy, my office mate, who keeps seeing my dart out of my office, ask a non-sensical question at an undiscernable rate of speed, smile huge as my eyes dart nervously around the room, then leave laughing and mumbling to myself. I’m never what you would consider sedate, but the coffee is not helping. At all. Even a little.
I think Carson may have gotten into the coffee as well. He arrived in my office after pre-school as usual and screamed a gleeful hello to billy, then ran into my office to tell me he had just come from Colorado. Odd, since we live in Texas. I am really impressed by the field trips my sons school is offering.
Anyway, after he described his trip at as much length as a two year old on a sugar high can, he spent the next 10 minutes running between my office and the youth sanctuary, screaminga t everything that moved and somethings that didn’t. He even threatend to kill Billy at one point, but we both think he is all talk.
I will say, however, that I miss having youthful innocence. In his mind, he really was in Colorado, monsters really were chasing him, and he really did beat them into submission protecting me, Billy, Bre, and even his sister abby from iminent doom. For me, life is reduced to just the facts… the cold, hard, unfriendly truth. He sees what could be; life as he wants it. I miss that. Hopefully, someday he can teach his dad how to relax and take a mid-day trip across the country… all without leaving his desk.
Filed under: family life, youth ministry | Tags: family, growing up, pizza, youth
The last few years have been an interesting ride as I transition from being a young, cool 20 something to now staring 30 in the face, knowing it’s time to at least play grown-up most of the time. It’s been a tough battle, but there is nothing that sums up my struggle to find where I fit than my choice of breakfast this morning… leftover pizza and a cup of coffee. One part full fledged adult, on part irresponsible college student. And there, summed up in one unhealthy sitting is my dilema.
Being a youth pastor doesn’t help. I sit in directors meetings and have adult conversations from 8-5, but then after school, I am surrounded by teenagers, and i honestly can’t decide which crowd I like best! There are benefits to both, and there are certainly drawbacks to both. I mean, adults have to be responsible, but high school? You can keep your drama. Not interested.
There was a time when 30 seemed about the right age for switching to bermuda shorts and taking up shuffle board, but as I sit here, it isn’t that old after all. Facing up to being a grown-up has been hard, but in the end, it ain’t so bad. Sure, the knees give me a little trouble going down stairs in the morning, but I also get to be husband to Bre and daddy to Abby and Carson, a benefit that only comes with age. Age has also landed me my dream job and afforded me the opportunity to walk with an amazing group of teenagers on their journey to find where Christ is leading them and struggle to balance teen angst with a joy-filled life. All in all, I’m cool with where I am, but if it’s all the same, I’ll keep my pizza and coffee…
Today was the first day of the year for the mother’s day out program. My two kids couldn’t have been handled it more differently.
Abby couldn’t wait to get away from dad. It appears that I am uncool already.
Carson broke down, cried and hid under a chair. He’ll be fine, but it will take a little bit. He has really been a home body lately. Poor little fella.
Other than that, it’s all good. Life is great on this beautiful Tuesday morning. I’ll write more later.
Church Can Still Be Cool 